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PRINTTalking Turkey
Happy Thanksgiving! For those of you who want to lighten up the holiday or Thanksgiving table, here are some of our favorite Turkey Day Jokes from our Associate Editor Richard Lederer. Enjoy:
What do turkeys like to eat on Thanksgiving?
Nothing; they are already stuffed.
Is turkey soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the turkey.
Why did the turkey bolt down its food?
Because it was a gobbler.
Why did the turkey go to the movie?
To see Gregory Peck.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To show that he wasn’t a chicken.
Why is a turkey similar to a ghost?
Because it’s a-gobblin’.
Did you hear about the conservative turkey?
It has two right wings.
Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks.
What is the traditional Thanksgiving menu?
Roast turkey, stuffing, candied yams, and pickled relatives.
Why did the man quit smoking cold turkey?
Because the feathers made him cough.
What did the distraught mother turkey say to her disobedient son?
“If your father were alive today, he’d be turning over in his gravy!”
Enjoy!
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Thanksgiving, turkey jokes, fun at the table, farmers almanac
Sandi Duncan is the Managing Editor of the Farmers' Almanac. Click here to read Sandi's full biography.Free Weekly eNewsletter
Farmers' Almanac Long Range Weather
February 8th - February 11th
- Northeast U.S.
Wet snow mixed with rain Mid-Atlantic north through New England; slushy accumulations of 4+" possible.
- Midwest/Great Lakes U.S.
Accumulating snows Kentucky, Ohio, then clearing. Fair elsewhere.
- Southeast U.S.
Wet snow Tennessee, western North Carolina; wintry mix northern Mississippi, Alabama. Elsewhere, rain, then clearing.
- North Central U.S.
Drier, much colder.
- South Central U.S.
Snow parts of Arkansas, then clearing, cold. Clear, much colder elsewhere.
- Northwest U.S.
Drier, but colder.
- Southwest U.S.
Drier, but noticeably colder.
• View entire Long Range Weather Forecast »
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