Poor Phil. He got it wrong. On his day back in February his predictions inaccurately called for an early arrival of spring. Um… it didn’t happen.
Since then, there have been death threats, a lawsuit calling not only for his arrest but the death penalty, and the official calendar arrival of spring. But the newest reports reveal that this furry forecaster has recently gone missing.
There were no ransom notes or clues left behind but he has left Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. Many people believe they saw him head north. Others worry he’s run away to a zoo to hide. And still others worry if an angry mob kidnapped him or worse yet, sold him to a road kill café.
But rest assured, he is in a safe location. Here at the Farmers’ Almanac we were truly worried about our fellow weather prognosticator, (even though we didn’t predict an early spring), and as such want to make sure that he is going to pull out of such a scandal unscathed.
We’d also like to help him out a bit with his prediction skills. So we will come clean. We have kidnapped or ‘hognapped Phil and have him under close surveillance. All for good reasons.
We feel that if we fill him in a little on our secret weather formula that perhaps he will gain some insight and not be so wrong in the future. We promise to return him unharmed, but changed…for the better, once he’s absorbed some of our lessons in weather.