Famous Excuse Notes to School
- Please excuse Abraham Lincoln for the rest of the year … He has moved to a Gettysburg address.
- Please excuse Rip Van Winkle for missing the past twenty years of school … He overslept.
- Please excuse Goliath for his absence from school yesterday … He got stoned and developed a terrific headache.
- Please excuse King Kong for missing the past few days of class … He had to catch a plane.
- Please excuse Spiderman for not handing in his homework … He was too busy surfing the Web.
- Please excuse Dracula for missing the entire school year … We can’t seem to stop him from staying up all night, and it’s impossible to wake him up in the morning.
- Please excuse The Invisible Man for his absence yesterday … We couldn’t find him to send him off to school.
- Please excuse The Wolfman from school for the next week … He is suffering from Irritable HOWL Syndrome.
- Please excuse Sir Isaac Newton from school for a few days while he recovers from a mild concussion … An apple fell on his head.
Richard Lederer is a writer, speaker, and teacher best known for his books on word play and the English language and is a regular contributor to the Farmers' Almanac. You can visit his web site at Verbivore.