Famous Excuse Notes to School

Richard Lederer strikes again with some witticisms using the English language and famous characters from history!

Famous Excuse Notes to School

  • Please excuse Abraham Lincoln for the rest of the year … He has moved to a Gettysburg address.
  • Please excuse Rip Van Winkle for missing the past twenty years of school … He overslept.
  • Please excuse Goliath for his absence from school yesterday … He got stoned and developed a terrific headache.
  • Please excuse King Kong for missing the past few days of class … He had to catch a plane.
  • Please excuse Spiderman for not handing in his homework … He was too busy surfing the Web.
  • Please excuse Dracula for missing the entire school year … We can’t seem to stop him from staying up all night, and it’s impossible to wake him up in the morning.
  • Please excuse The Invisible Man for his absence yesterday … We couldn’t find him to send him off to school.
  • Please excuse The Wolfman from school for the next week … He is suffering from Irritable HOWL Syndrome.
  • Please excuse Sir Isaac Newton from school for a few days while he recovers from a mild concussion … An apple fell on his head.
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Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assaults Upon Our Language - Lederer on Language: A Celebration of English, Good Grammar, and Wordplay
Richard Lederer

Richard Lederer is a writer, speaker, and teacher best known for his books on word play and the English language and is a regular contributor to the Farmers' Almanac. You can visit his web site at Verbivore.

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