Why Do We Kiss Under The Mistletoe?

Ever wonder why kissing under the mistletoe is a Christmas tradition? We have the answer, plus many facts and lore about this strange parasitic plant.

Oh, ho, the mistletoe,
Hung where you can see.
Somebody waits for you;
Kiss her once for me!

From bringing trees inside to banging pots and pans at the turn of the New Year, this time of year is full of colorful, storied, and sometimes strange, traditions. Kissing under the mistletoe is one of these. Even though this practice might be limited in 2021, here’s what it’s all about:

What Is Mistletoe?

Mistletoe is a parasitic plant that grows on, and attaches to, the branches of a tree or shrub. As it grows, it burrows into its host, and draws nutrients from the tree. To a healthy tree, mistletoe’s thievery is generally harmless. In fact, some describe the relationship between mistletoe plants and their host trees as somewhat symbiotic, because birds, attracted to a tree by mistletoe’s evergreen leaves, often spread the host tree’s seeds in winter, increasing the overall tree population.

Mistletoe features small, smooth, oval leaves paired up along a woody stem, with waxy white berries in clusters of up to six or ten, depending on the species. An important food source for many bird species, mistletoe can be mildly toxic to humans, causing diarrhea and gastrointestinal discomfort. It’s best to wash your hands after handling the berries.

Why Do We Kiss Beneath The Mistletoe?

Why we kiss under the plant probably originates in Norse mythology.

The Norse Legend

According to legend, Baldur, the god of light, began to have terrible nightmares that he would soon be killed. To ease his mind, Baldur’s mother, Frigga, undertook a journey to make everything in heaven or Earth — plants, animals, weapons, and so on — swear an oath not to harm Baldur. Because her son was so universally loved, everything she asked gladly made this promise. Unfortunately, the goddess overlooked the humble mistletoe.

Realizing Frigga’s mistake, Loki, the god of mischief and fire, fashioned a spear of mistletoe and tricked Baldur’s blind twin brother, Hodur, into throwing it at the light god. The mistletoe pierced Baldur’s heart, killing him and bringing darkness to the world. Being magical, the gods were eventually able to resurrect Baldur. To celebrate his return, Frigga declared that mistletoe would be a symbol of love, and commanded gods and humans to kiss beneath its leaves in memory of her son.

Some versions of the myth, though, say Loki foiled the gods’ attempt to restore Baldur to life. In this case, it is prophesied that the light god will return at Ragnarok, the destruction and rebirth of the world, and the mistletoe kiss is a foretaste of the joy that is yet to come.

Superstitions and Lore

Like many plants associated with rebirth myths, mistletoe began to be associated with fertility. People once placed it above babies’ cradles to protect them from evil or mischievous spirits, and young girls placed it under their pillows to dream of their future husbands.

Mistletoe Etiquette

Remember, the correct mistletoe etiquette is for the man to remove one berry when he kisses a woman. When all the berries are gone, there is no more kissing underneath that plant—it becomes bad luck to kiss beneath that particular sprig.  Throw all berries away immediately and wash your hands—the berries can be poisonous and cause minor skin irritation.

Grow Your Own!

To cultivate mistletoe, simply squeeze the thick, sticky pulp out of several mistletoe berries and rub the seeds, spaced about an inch apart, on a young, thin tree branch. Unless they are eaten by birds, the seeds should grow on their own, without your help, taking nutrients from the host tree.

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Farmers' Almanac - Itch
Jaime McLeod

Jaime McLeod is a longtime journalist who has written for a wide variety of newspapers, magazines, and websites, including MTV.com. She enjoys the outdoors, growing and eating organic food, and is interested in all aspects of natural wellness.

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Here in Georgia, after the leaves are off the oaks, you can see big bundles of mistletoe growing because it’s always green. But it seems it’s always way up in the trees beyond reach.

Sandi Duncan

Oh wow! That’s awesome you can see it, but too bad you can’t pick it. Thanks for leaving a comment!

Patricia W

I have put a lead sinker on a fishing line and and cast with the line and used the reel to “catch mistletoe”..Safer in some areas than shooting it out of a tree.

Carl Long

We used a .22 rifle to knock it off cottonwood trees. I haven’t known of anyone doing that since the 70’s.


Here in North East Ohio you can no longer find mistletoe to buy. The only thing available are the plastic ones. It used to be available at the Christmas tree lots and garden centers and sometimes even in the grocery and hardwares stores. Once it was declared “poisonous” it was taken off the market. I miss the real stuff.

Karen Hambick

I have never seen mistletoe kill a tree ever.


I’ve used a shotgun to remove it from trees at Christmas time. I’ve only seen it grow on the black gum tree.


Mistetoe species are adapted to on a particular species or genus of tree, so trying to grow mistetoe on a tree will require getting the right spp of mistetoe, and many tree and shrub spp are not hosts for mistetoe. Mistetoe is rarely fatal for a tree but does make a tree much better for many wildlife species due to the large branches that often form, making great perches and nesting platforms.

jackie bailey

went yestarday an shot some out do it every year

Micheal Sherrod

Mistletoe actually causes a growth on meskite trees. It’s growth causes the wood to make burly wood used in knife handles,gun grips, and exotic woodworking.

S. Hollon

A Christmas Eve tradition in my neck of the woods was to shoot it out of the top of oaks…proving your skills with a .22 rifle and carrying it home for Christmas Eve kiss from your girl.
Roupes Valley Alabama

Marty Swartz

Please do not tell people to “plant” mistletoe on their trees, It can kill them. It is a parasite and drains the tree of it’s energy. Once it is established, the seeds will fall on other branches and then the tree is full of it and it is ugly and like I said it will destroy the tree. SO Please do not plant it on any tree, cut it out and get rid of it, There is enough out there in the wild.


It is sad that this family tradition is fading amongst the younger generation…Some children/teenagers to young adults, when asked what is a mistletoe, they simply do not know…

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